Applesauce Torque

Can someone explain to me why the makers of applesauce decided to put 200 lbs of torque on their jars? I mean, really! You'd think it was a hazardous waste material that will spread evil toxins all over creation, instead of the applesauce jar.

There are many other instances of this, as well. The mayonnaise, the apple juice, the BBQ sauce. Even the peanut butter. All very harmful, dangerous substances.

I think it's a male conspiracy. "Honey, will you open this jar of ... for me?" Now, keep in mind, I've done everything I can to open this jar. I've beat it with the other end of a butter knife. I've strained, and used my t-shirt around my hand, and even dug that little rubber grippy thing out of the back of the drawer and tried that.

Enter big male person, chest puffed out just slightly, feeling oh-so-necessary. POP! The lid comes right off. "Thank you, honey," I say, and he struts back out of the kitchen with a "Sure, no problem."

Yes, I admit. I'm thinking to myself, "I just got it loose for you. Next time, I won't give up too soon." But then, considering it's a conspiracy and all, they probably have it figured to just the point that my patience runs out.

So, knowing it's a conspiracy, regardless of all my brilliant deduction, I'll just do the same thing the next time (which is what makes it funny in the first place). And we all know why. It's that puffed out chest, and that strut as he leaves the room. Yes, he has a cute tushy when he's strutting. I guess that's why I've decided to let this conspiracy continue. On the other hand, we need to have a candid talk about high heels.